If you’re new to the military life..Welcome! Buckle up because you’re in for a ride. Prepare for all your whimsical expectations to be shattered but also be prepared for life to go beyond your wildest dreams. Being a military spouse is strikingly similar to being in high school over again. There will be disappointments, there will be triumphs, you will meet your best friend and your worst enemy! You’ll also find and invent yourself all over again. So, if you’re new to this military life here are a few mistakes you will make as a new military spouse but know that it’s completely okay… these things will totally make your experience worth while!
You’ll make the wrong friends!
Remember that high schools reference? Yeah it’s the same! Being a military spouse is just like that except instead of being concerned about popularity, most are concerned with who’s husband is what rank. You kind of enter this life blindly and extremely alone. Then you’ll start thinking “I want friends” regardless of who it is. That’s all fine an dandy until you realize it does actually matter who you’re friends with. In those 3 years on base you’ll weed through the rank holders, the gossipers, and those who aren’t that bad but move away and forget about you. Then you’ll find your very best group of life long friends and friendships made in the military are magical!
You’ll over compensate for family members!
Okay I just learned this last week but it’s absolutely worth sharing. This is our second duty station and also our second house getting the extra bedroom for all our wonderful guests….I say that in the most sarcastic way possible because WHAT GUESTS? I hate to break it to you but they aren’t coming to visit no matter what amazing duty station you move to or how many bedrooms you have. You’ll expect everyone to visit you in your new home and you’ll even expect them to come to you when you’re in town but they won’t do that either and it’s okay. The quicker you learn this the less heartache you’ll have and the more BAH you’ll save. Also, you’ll have to be willing to be the bad guy. They’ll expect you to come to them all the time and it’s not fair. Stand your ground and visit when you can but don’t force it. Your happiness isn’t worth it!
You won’t take advantage of your duty station until it’s gone!
Okay so a lot of duty stations are less than desirable (for the army anyway) but you can really take advantage and make the most of any duty station you’re at. My friends and I spent 3 years in Missouri waiting impatiently for orders, drooling over our Hawaii friends instagrams and doing the same ole things every week. As much as I loved Missouri I realized after we left how much of my St. Louis bucket list was still not checked off or how we never made it to Kansas City. To prevent wasting an opportunity click here to learn how to fall in love with your duty station. This is a lifestyle with once in a lifetime opportunities, take advantage of them!
You’ll have too many expectations of the lifestyle!
You may have some type of grand expectation for marrying someone in uniform but unfortunately the military is the grim reaper of expectations. Moving all over the world sounds fun and adventurous but you have to make it past the stress of finding somewhere to live and broken items first. You’ll make plans then you’ll often have to change them and forget planning something a year in advance. A lot of times you’ll be alone or a single parent. It’s an adjustment but it is POSSIBLE. You’ll get used to it and adjust accordingly. Plus, spontaneity sometimes adds a good aspect to life.
Like anything in life; entering the military life will be full of experiences. Some will be good and some will be bad. You’ll make plenty of mistakes then you’ll learn from them as you go. No matter what we go through, know that we are lucky to be living this life and when it’s over we will have plenty of amazing stories to tell. What are some mistakes you made as a new military spouse? Comment Below!
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